心态老化

夏时制比往年提前一个月，冬天被囫囵赶跑。前不久下班的时候，黑夜笼罩，晚冬的寒气挥之不去，雨还时不时稀里哗啦地下，把湾区『冬天来了，山都绿了，夏天来了，山都黄了』的传统延续。现在冬天被一棒子打回头，坐在办公室里，快五点了，外面还是阳光明媚，丝毫没有减弱的意思。

总结近日年龄增大，心态老化的症状如下：

一，刚刚冒出来的，本来写这篇之前已经有腹稿了，好几点症状列的一清二楚，现在敲上键盘，发现忘得一干二净，冥思苦想也想不出要写什么了。

二，美国偶像里面有一集，六十多岁的白发老人参加海选，究其原因，是其老伴得了癌症，他参加美国偶像这件事，从报名到海选，都和老伴一起准备，从某种程度上激发了老伴生存的意志。老人面对镜头，坦然说老伴已于二天前去世，之后言语梗塞，说『I believe it helped her keep a positive attitude and it smoothed her passing and made it a little softer』。海选当场，在三位评委面前，厚实的男中音唱出You belong to me，镜头中Paula Abdul泪眼朦胧。我耳边几乎听见十多年前的自己很不屑地面对屏幕批判这种制造悲情博取收视率的手段，可如今却被什么塞住喉咙，感动地无以复加。

三，Youtube上的一个荷兰电视节目片断，一个小男孩登台演唱，红色带帽衫，小牛仔裤，阳光自信，唱的歌名叫做『Two Fathers』。一对同志父亲在他一岁的时候收养了他，歌词简单，几乎是大白话，却让我鼻头发酸。想起很多年以前，为了同志在当前适不适合领养小孩和一个朋友辩论了N长时间，我当时的观点是绝对不适合。可现在鼻头发酸地盯着屏幕，却觉得这孩子的父父幸福得难以言表。

we live in a terrace house
we have nice stuff at home
we live there quite ok with three of us together
bas works for the newspaper
and diederik is laboratorian
they adopted me when i was one year old

i’m still the only child
but that’s ok with me
that way i get all the attention and love from those two
bas brings me to the school
with diederik i play violin
and with three of us we watch soaps on tv

i have two fathers
two real fathers
sometimes cool and sometimes strict
but it’s going great with us
i have two fathers
two real fathers
who, if they have to
both can be my mother

when i have to go to bed
diederik checks my homework
and bas does the dishes or is doing laundry
and if i’m ill or have a fever
then there’s nobody i know
who can be so caring as diederik or bas

he has two fathers
two real fathers
sometimes cool and sometimes strict
but it’s going great with us
he has two fathers
two real fathers
who, if they have to
both can be my mother

sometimes i get bullied at school
of course it’s not nice
your parents, they are homo
they find it strange
then i just shrug my shoulders
so what? i’m their son
it’s not ordinary
but for me, it’s quite ok

四，整理以前存档的文件，发现近四年以前的一些图，下面的这张就是其中之一。四年转瞬，不再作态感慨了，贴一下图，更一下新，好歹也跟『新』这个字沾点边。